Every once in a while, life throws something at you that you could not have possibly predicted.

On October 30, 2010 we experienced one of those moments.

On October 30, 2010, Seann and I discovered that Matthew Chew – Artist, DJ and friend – had been taken from this world.

At first, it felt like everything just stopped. When we got the news we were both skeptical and stunned. It didn’t make any sense. Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you? It was kind of like that. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t even cry. Like a bomb had been detonated in my brain and I was just standing in the blast site, unable to move much less pick up the pieces.

And then I started walking. In circles. Circles and figure eights and more circles. And then the phone started to ring. And then the tears came. But it still didn’t make any sense.

Matt was someone we used to see every weekend. At first, he was PKat’s biggest fan. But very quickly, he became our friend. He was the sort of person that you couldn’t help but love. Even in his darkest moments he was still a comfort to have around. His smile was infectious. And his heart was HUGE.

As with many friends, we began to lose touch with Matt after the Muni closed. We were no longer in a place to be the centralized weekend hang out. People branched out. New circles formed. The fondness wasn’t lost, but without the proximity everyone felt the intensity of the old friendships begin to dilute, making room for new relationships in all our lives.

What we failed to realize was this: If a friendship is real enough and strong enough at its core, it doesn’t matter how far to the back burner it gets moved when the practicality of everyday life keeps those friends apart. When paths cross again by chance, or in times of great celebration or sometimes crisis it is always immediately apparent just how strong those true friendships are. We see firsthand that no love was ever lost or reallocated to make way for new. Because with friendships this strong we learn not only to love one another, but also how to keep loving. Love is not doled out in finite amounts. The well is bottomless.

And so we saw with all the old friends that gathered with us to celebrate Matt’s life. We collectively realized how important it is to both cherish the friendships we have and to continue to fill the world with love. When life can be taken away at any moment, there is really no time for hate.

All of this sounds completely cliché. And perhaps it is. But just because a thing is said over and over again doesn’t make it any less true. I’d heard this lesson being preached from multiple pulpits for years. And yet, Seann and I still waited years before making a real attempt to reconnect with our friend. We know that nothing in life is guaranteed. We know this. But we assumed he would always be there.

If Matt had just been given 12 more hours we would have been at his apartment, toasting to our old friendship and celebrating the happy memories to come. But he didn’t get 12 more hours. We let 2 years pass. We came so close…

There is no point in dwelling on the “shoulda, woulda, coulda”s. I’m pretty sure Matt would be pissed if he knew we’d all stopped what we were doing to sit around and mope. And so, in honor of Matt’s passion for life and art Plurtrain forges ahead with renewed purpose! PKat is writing new tracks and will be performing at 2 events in the next 2 weekends while I have sung my little heart out every night of I Love You, You’re Perfect Now Change and moved forward with Slant of Light’s educational tour, M&Ms in Heaven.

Don’t keep your ideas and talents locked up in your heads, people. Give them a voice. Share whatever you have to make the world a more interesting place. Because you never know how long you have and you sure don’t want any “shoulda, woulda, coulda”s when you go…